Privateer Insider 11-30-2010

Recently, Privateer Press instituted a new policy called First Fridays.

The idea is that every first Friday of the month, we stop working for about four hours in the afternoon and put together models and play WARMACHINE and HORDES.
Pretty awesome, right?

November 5th was the inaugural “First Friday,” which finally got me off my butt and pushed me to turn the pile of unassembled, unpainted miniatures on my desk into something I could actually put on the gaming table.

But what to play?

The Monday before the big day, I had two complete unassembled armies sitting in plastic cocoons on my desk: Cygnar and Trollbloods. Naturally, I decided I didn’t want to play either one. Nope, I chose to go with the new hotness and quickly filled out an internal order that would allow me to field an entire army of gator-y goodness.

I received my pile of unassembled metal last Wednesday and spent the next two evening putting my Gator army together. I was aiming for a 35-point force, and by Friday morning, I had the following army assembled and ready to throw down.
Bloody Barnabas -6
Blackhide Wrastler x2 9 each
Gatorman Posse (5) x2 9 each
Croak Hunters x2 2 each
Swamp Gobber Bellows Crew 1

For alternate solos, I had a Feralgeist, a Thrullg, and the Totem Hunter—enough options to add some versatility to my list.

I managed to get in two games at our first First Friday. I played one game against contract and licensing manager Brent Waldher and his Thagrosh-led Legion army and another against quartermaster Jen Ikuta’s Siege-led Cygnar force.

I lost the first game, but my game against Jen allowed me to utilize a tactic I’ve been perfecting, one that can leave even the most veteran player shaking his or her head in disgust and disbelief. The tactic is known as the “noob lure” or “idiot’s gambit.”

Here’s how it works. The noob player (that’d be me) makes a blunder of epic proportions, giving his opponent a clear advantage and usually a chance at an easy win. However, the noob’s colossal mistake leaves the veteran player so flummoxed at the idea anyone could be so impenetrably stupid that it momentarily throws the veteran off his game. This provokes the veteran player to make an equally inadvisable play that allows the noob to win.

My noob lure worked to perfection on Jen this past Friday. Basically, I left Bloody Barnabas within charge range of Jen’s entire army without a shred of fury to his name. He was as dead as dead meat can get. The only saving grace was that Barnabas was inside a Swamp Pit and was therefore safe from ranged fire. On her turn, Jen popped Siege’s feat and needed only to charge her Grenadier to turn Barnabas into a scaly grease stain. Instead, she charged her Trencher Master Gunner at the Blackhide Wrastler standing near Barnabas. This triggered Barnabas’ Counter Charge ability, and the gator warlock killed the Master Gunner with a single blow from Bone Cleaver. Killing the Master Gunner was incidental (if fun). The real boon was the fact that Barnabas’ Counter Charge carried him a full 4 inches away from Jen’s army, taking him outside the charge range of every Cygnar model yet still within the edge of the Swamp Pit (and safe from ranged attacks).

On my turn, I moved Barnabas up, popped his feat, and knocked down virtually everything in Jen’s army. I then proceeded to chew the faces off every Cygnar model within charge range. Needless to say, I won handily (if artlessly) thanks to my deceptively effective blunder.

Our premiere First Friday was a blast, and I’m looking forward to next one this upcoming Friday. Rest assured, I’ll be looking for more ways to make hideously stupid mistakes against my opponents and further refine the dreaded noob lure.